June 14, 2008 - leaving the hospital

After giving birth to Troy and spending time with him, I tried to settle in to go to sleep - the nurse gave me another dose of this Nubain drug to help me sleep - it was about 3:00am - soon as I was given the dose and she left the room - I layed there listening to a women screaming in the room next to me in full blown labor - it really bothered me.. knowing she was giving birth to probably a healthy baby - listening to her was so hard. I finally fell asleep at some point and woke up around 6:30am. I thought I was going to be fine being in the hospital but soon as I woke up...I was so anxious to get out of there - I was hearing babies crying in the rooms next to me - it was hard - knowing that all these women were walking out with their babies and all I had to walk out with was a box, with my sons footprints and handprints and material on grief and loss - it was a lot harder than I thought it would be - it took a long time to finally leave - the doctor had to come in to discharge me and it took about 2 hours.... Mike ended up taking all my stuff out to the car because I just didn't want to be the one walking out with the box - by the time he got back - the doctor already came in and I was all ready to leave. Brevin was with my parents that weekend - when we got home - I took a nap on the couch and Mike went out on the deck and layed in the sun and took a nap - after a while - we decided that we didn't want to just sit at home so we got in the car and just drove - we ended up in Greek Town and had dinner at Fishbones - it was nice to get out but we were both sitting at the table in the restaurant just still in shock with what we had just been through. By the time we got home - we were both just tired and ended up going to bed.