Just thinking back....

I don't know what made me think of this but I just wanted to post some pictures of the beautiful flowers that were sent to me from family and friends.....back in June. The last photo was what the hospital sent me home with - it was a basket full of wonderful stuff - made by volunteers that have lost babies also. There was a couple books in there on grief and losing a baby.... a journal to write in... a couple precious keepsake bookmarks... an ornament.... an angel pen.... a candle.... chocolates... tea... a beautiful coffee mug... kleenex... and some hand and more.

I honestly have to say that I was never a card person but I am now - I look at the cards that I received often - just knowing I had all that support and all those that were thinking of me... means a lot to me and I will cherish those cards always - I am still receiving cards in the mail - not as much anymore which I expect but it is so comforting to still receive those cards.... just makes me know that I am cared for and still thought of... that has been my worse fear... feeling that "alone" feeling.. like everyone has forgotten and moved on... I am getting there and hanging in there... doing better a little each day but I do still have my down days but I have the most wonderful husband in the world that helps me through and the best 4 year old - he seems to know when I am down - and he totally lifts me up! Thank you Lord for giving me my wonderful husband and son, family and friends - you have blessed me with so much!

The Weekend...

This past weekend went pretty well - I was in Holland from Wednesday till Saturday. Wednesday night I went out for coffee with my sister-in-law and we just talked - it was the best - wish I could do that more often - before coffee we stopped at Restlawn to see Troy's grave - I hate it that we don't have a headstone for him yet but hopefully we will soon - it really was nice to stop there!

On Saturday we went to my Aunt and Uncle's house in Middleville MI - they live on a lake and we celebrated my Grandparents 60th wedding anniversary - all my family was coming in for this - my mom is one of 6 kids in her family and some live out of state. I was very excited and also dreading it at the same time. I can't quite put my finger on it but for some reason, seeing family for the first time since losing Troy just makes me nervous or uneasy - maybe it is because I don't know what they are going to say to me or not going to say.... I don't know - sometimes it is just worse when nobody says anything and acts like nothing happened. Mike and I got lots of hugs and lots of "we have been thinking of you guys" - it really was nice - my Aunt Bonnie talked to me for quite a while and that was really nice also - it really did go well and we had lots of fun!! some pictures from the weekend...

Uncle Dave and Aunt Kathy's house on Duncan Lake

The Cuneo Clan

The "Doggie Cousins", Sisco, Marco (the tiny one), Polo, Blue and Molly

Here they are again... but Ralph decided to join in - he is the golden retriever.

Marianne with Trinity, Me with Brevin on the boat -

my mom and counsin Zoe are in the background

The boys playing horseshoes

Kids Playing in the lake

Now we are off to another new week - I am leaving Wednesday with Mike again for Holland and because he has to work out of the Holland location on Thursday morning so soon as he is done - then we are heading up to Ludington to my mom and dad's cottage for the weekend - I am looking forward to that.

I can't believe that fall is almost here - fall is my favorite time of the year and I really hope it stays that way - it is going to be so hard when November rolls around - Mike and I had a long talk last night and we both are not looking forward to Thanksgiving - it just isn't going to be like it has been in the past. It is going to be hard for me to be all happy knowing that we should be having or holding our son that was due then. So Mike and I decided that we are going to get away for the holiday - we are not totally sure where but we have brought up going to Golf Shores, AL or somewhere warm - where we can drive since we cannot afford to fly right now. So.. that is what our plan is of now - it isn't going to make the pain go away.. I realize that but I think it will be nice to get away as a family and just be to ourselves.