A year ago today.. I would not let myself believe what was about to happen... I was a little in denial.
A year ago today... I held my husbands hand tightly as we walked into the hospital
And a year ago today... I held two tiny miracles in my arms and was just blown away.
Up to the day that I gave birth to Ian and Alex... I could not bring myself to get things ready for two infants. I didn't wash any of the clothes that I had received... I didn't open up diapers and wipes and put them nicely away in the drawer of their changing table. I didn't get bottles washed and ready. I could not bring myself to believe that everything was going to be okay and that I WAS going to bring my babies home with me. But I did!!
Ian and Alex were born one year ago today... on Monday, September 28, 2009. Ian at 10:37 am and Alex at 10:39 am. I remember leaving home at 6:30 in the morning.. we wanted to leave a little bit earlier... before Brevin woke up for school... it was hard leaving and I didn't want Brevin to be worried since I was in tears.. I was really scared and it was just really hard leaving Brevin... knowing that his life was about to change dramatically!!
We arrived in Ann Arbor early so we ended up going to Rite Aid to get some magazines for the hospital stay and we stopped at McDonalds so Mike could eat some breakfast. Then I remember getting to the hospital and walking in, shaking... literally shaking. I was so scared to have a c-section. We sat in the waiting room for a short time.. then 3 nurses came to get me and we walked to the prep room... a very small room. I was given a gown to put on and then layed on a bed. Then I was hooked up to monitors to check on the boys. Even though I was SO huge.. the boys still found enough room in me to roll around. The nurses could not keep track of their hearbeats because they were just rolling around. I remember one nurse saying "obviously they are doing just fine because they won't stop moving".. she ended up taking the monitors off because it was pointless to keep them on.
After a short time the anestegiologist walked in and went over things with me... then my doctor walked in... I felt both relieved to see his face but SO scared because the time had come. They were about to put me in a wheel chair to go to the OR but I asked if I could walk.. and I did.
Mike walked with me but they made him stop right before the doors and sit on a bench while they prepped me... I walked in with my doctor into the VERY bright and VERY cold room. They had me sit on the bed and was ready to put my spinal in... knowing what I have heard about that spinal.. my whole body started shaking. My doctor put his hand on my shoulder and told me that everything will be okay... then the anestegiologist told me to hunch over so my back was curved - very hard to do with a twin/37 week belly infront of you... I asked for a pillow to hug and that helped. I closed my eyes and held my breath... I felt the prick and I what felt like a balloon being inflated in my back... just as they said. But pain? I felt no pain. The doctor then told me that he was done with my spinal... I remember saying "that was it"?... they then told me to go ahead and lay down but the medication worked really fast and I was so numb that I couldn't move my legs to lay down so they had to help me. Then things moved fast... a blue sheet was put up infront of my face... the anesteologist was right next to me and soon as he asked me to tell him if I start feeling sick... I started feeling sick - he put something into my IV and the sick feeling was gone instantly. They had a fan like thing blowing warm air on me... I asked them if they can make that air cold.. I was getting hot... the doctor laughed because he never had anyone ask for the air to be cold.. usually everyone is cold in that room and wants heat on them. Soon Mike walked in and sat right by my head.. camera in hand. I asked Mike if they started yet... either the doctor or nurse heard me and said "not only have we started... we are almost to baby A". I could not believe how fast things were moving.. then I felt sick again.. and again the doctor took care of that fast! Then I heard a cry and I started crying myself... such relieve came over me... Mike got to his feet and was off to see Ian - after a quick check and a rough cleaning.. they brought Ian to me so I could see him and give him a kiss.
Then another cry.. and more cries from me. Mike again almost running around to see both babies and get pictures... comes back to me and tells me that Alex looks beautiful too!! We hadn't totally settled on a name yet for him so I was surprised when Mike said "Alex"... We were a little worried about Alex because we never got a good shot of his face in any of the ultrasounds that I had and I had one every 2 weeks of my pregnancy. But he was fine... a little bruised up from being so high up in me.. it took the doctors quite a bit of pulling to get him out.
A year ago today... I held my husbands hand tightly as we walked into the hospital
And a year ago today... I held two tiny miracles in my arms and was just blown away.
Up to the day that I gave birth to Ian and Alex... I could not bring myself to get things ready for two infants. I didn't wash any of the clothes that I had received... I didn't open up diapers and wipes and put them nicely away in the drawer of their changing table. I didn't get bottles washed and ready. I could not bring myself to believe that everything was going to be okay and that I WAS going to bring my babies home with me. But I did!!
Ian and Alex were born one year ago today... on Monday, September 28, 2009. Ian at 10:37 am and Alex at 10:39 am. I remember leaving home at 6:30 in the morning.. we wanted to leave a little bit earlier... before Brevin woke up for school... it was hard leaving and I didn't want Brevin to be worried since I was in tears.. I was really scared and it was just really hard leaving Brevin... knowing that his life was about to change dramatically!!
We arrived in Ann Arbor early so we ended up going to Rite Aid to get some magazines for the hospital stay and we stopped at McDonalds so Mike could eat some breakfast. Then I remember getting to the hospital and walking in, shaking... literally shaking. I was so scared to have a c-section. We sat in the waiting room for a short time.. then 3 nurses came to get me and we walked to the prep room... a very small room. I was given a gown to put on and then layed on a bed. Then I was hooked up to monitors to check on the boys. Even though I was SO huge.. the boys still found enough room in me to roll around. The nurses could not keep track of their hearbeats because they were just rolling around. I remember one nurse saying "obviously they are doing just fine because they won't stop moving".. she ended up taking the monitors off because it was pointless to keep them on.
After a short time the anestegiologist walked in and went over things with me... then my doctor walked in... I felt both relieved to see his face but SO scared because the time had come. They were about to put me in a wheel chair to go to the OR but I asked if I could walk.. and I did.
Mike walked with me but they made him stop right before the doors and sit on a bench while they prepped me... I walked in with my doctor into the VERY bright and VERY cold room. They had me sit on the bed and was ready to put my spinal in... knowing what I have heard about that spinal.. my whole body started shaking. My doctor put his hand on my shoulder and told me that everything will be okay... then the anestegiologist told me to hunch over so my back was curved - very hard to do with a twin/37 week belly infront of you... I asked for a pillow to hug and that helped. I closed my eyes and held my breath... I felt the prick and I what felt like a balloon being inflated in my back... just as they said. But pain? I felt no pain. The doctor then told me that he was done with my spinal... I remember saying "that was it"?... they then told me to go ahead and lay down but the medication worked really fast and I was so numb that I couldn't move my legs to lay down so they had to help me. Then things moved fast... a blue sheet was put up infront of my face... the anesteologist was right next to me and soon as he asked me to tell him if I start feeling sick... I started feeling sick - he put something into my IV and the sick feeling was gone instantly. They had a fan like thing blowing warm air on me... I asked them if they can make that air cold.. I was getting hot... the doctor laughed because he never had anyone ask for the air to be cold.. usually everyone is cold in that room and wants heat on them. Soon Mike walked in and sat right by my head.. camera in hand. I asked Mike if they started yet... either the doctor or nurse heard me and said "not only have we started... we are almost to baby A". I could not believe how fast things were moving.. then I felt sick again.. and again the doctor took care of that fast! Then I heard a cry and I started crying myself... such relieve came over me... Mike got to his feet and was off to see Ian - after a quick check and a rough cleaning.. they brought Ian to me so I could see him and give him a kiss.
Then another cry.. and more cries from me. Mike again almost running around to see both babies and get pictures... comes back to me and tells me that Alex looks beautiful too!! We hadn't totally settled on a name yet for him so I was surprised when Mike said "Alex"... We were a little worried about Alex because we never got a good shot of his face in any of the ultrasounds that I had and I had one every 2 weeks of my pregnancy. But he was fine... a little bruised up from being so high up in me.. it took the doctors quite a bit of pulling to get him out.
We were done... the babies were here and I could not believe it. I remember being wheeled back into a little recovery room.. the same room where I was getting prepped.... both Ian and Alex were brought in. I could not wait for Brevin to come... I wanted us all to be together and I was so excited to see Brevin's reaction to his brothers. Brev had school that day so my parents picked him up.. got him lunch and came right to the hospital... it was SO great to see them!! My mom started crying soon as she walked in... the babies were both with us. Brevin was a little timid and not so sure about everything but he loved looking at his brothers. Shortly after their arrival.. I was ready to be put in the mommy/baby room that I would be staying in for the next 3 days. The nurse handed me both babies... I had one in each arm and they wheeled me on my bed to my room.. I remember the long walk... I had tears in my eyes... I was so proud.. so happy to be holding my sons and to have my other son Brevin there.
My dream of having another child came true... times two!! Leaving the hospital WITH my babies was the best moment - I could not wait to go home and start living the life I have been dreaming about. And here.. right now.. as I write this.. I have 3 beautiful children sleeping peacefully.. I am so blessed... SO blessed. Thinking back with what we have been through but not regreting one single thing - I only wish Troy was with us but I know the sacrifice that had to be to have Ian and Alex here... God gave me 4 beautiful boys.. one in Heaven watching over us... our guardian angel... and now we celebrate the twins first birthday... what a special day this is.
ALL I can say is... God is SO good!
Happy birthday Ian and Alex!
You two and your big brother Brevin have changed my life so much... you have made me a better person. You have made me so happy! How blessed I am to have an amazing husband and now all my beautiful boys!!
My dream of having another child came true... times two!! Leaving the hospital WITH my babies was the best moment - I could not wait to go home and start living the life I have been dreaming about. And here.. right now.. as I write this.. I have 3 beautiful children sleeping peacefully.. I am so blessed... SO blessed. Thinking back with what we have been through but not regreting one single thing - I only wish Troy was with us but I know the sacrifice that had to be to have Ian and Alex here... God gave me 4 beautiful boys.. one in Heaven watching over us... our guardian angel... and now we celebrate the twins first birthday... what a special day this is.
ALL I can say is... God is SO good!
Happy birthday Ian and Alex!
You two and your big brother Brevin have changed my life so much... you have made me a better person. You have made me so happy! How blessed I am to have an amazing husband and now all my beautiful boys!!
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