My week so far

Honestly... this week has just been a bit emotional for me - physically I have been pretty busy - with Brev's school - helping in his class and aiding in the 3's class plus putting more hours in at work but just feeling down... I swear... If I hear one more person announce their pregnancy.. I think I am going to scream - I know that sounds horrible - I honestly could not be happier for them and I just pray their baby's are healthy and that they have a very healthy pregnancy with amazing outcomes!! It is just extrememly hard watching friends and just people I know whether from work or just people I see at the grocery store living out what I dream for the most. It is hard seeing it be so easy for most and so hard for us... to want something so bad but to only watch others get what I want so much... I sound SO selfish and I hate that also... I have just been in this mode lately where I just keep repeating to myself that I may never have another child - over and over again - I just want to be able to accept it - maybe if I keep saying it I will accept it but I am no where near close to that yet... it still kills me that Brev may be an only child - I don't want that for him.. I never have but I may be forced to just accept it.. that might be what it is and there is nothing I can do about it but it is SO hard seeing the rest of the world grow their families.... just a rough start to this week I guess but hopefully my "business" will get me through and hopefully mask some of my emotions... next week will be better right? Now that I vented and had a good cry.. I feel just a bit better.